Ruq's

Anyway, nothing much happened during the Talent time aside from the fact that the last performance that I watched made me feel awkward / wrong / lost? XP. Still I feel empty today, eventhough I was surrounded by my friends. Tsk tsk.. 

After the "awkward" performance, I had to go for a presentation practice with a couple of my friends. It was for the "Plastic-less Brunei" project proposal. Lots of mistakes here and there, but, I'll improve it :D. Then, finally in the afternoon, I had a dance practice with members of Korean Culture Club. I took part in the "Bad Girl by Beast" dance. It was TIRING! and FUN! :D. Another opportunity to escape my world and from the people who tend to hurt me! F-off! I don't need you! Its no fun when someone makes you feel like to hate that person. It changes everything. But, not anymore. I'm not gonna let you ruin me again!

One of my friend will be going to USA tomorrow... afternoon? Sorry I can't send you off Wana. But, have a good time there!! Bawa ulih2. I'll make sure you read this post tonight!!

Here's my thought for today. To what extend will you do for someone that you cared so deeply? I will do just about anything to make it happen, to be there and I'll will try my best and even beyond my limits. Yes! I would do that. But, It'll be so damn painful if a person that you know, who you cared, who you hope to be there to catch you when you fall be so damn selfish, somewhat uncaring, cold and left you in your time of need! What sort of bullshit is that!? I hate to admit, I was once that sort of person. I was ashamed of myself and towards that person. But, that incident changed me and made me a better person. A better person for everyone. But, if someone did that to you and still doing it to you. Its best to leave it be. Changing a person wont solve anything if that person refused to even listen to you. It hurts to live in that shadow. I can't pretend that this sort of thing is not happening to me because, I would look so stupid ignoring the fact that you hurt me. Yes! you freaking hurt me! But, you wouldn't care now would you. You tried. We build a wall together... I built the wall mostly... just to see it come crashing down over and over. Whats done is done. I forgive you like I always do. But, there is no end to it. Might as well leave, end that chapter of our life and close the book to be forever locked in the deepest darkest place in a closet.

Thats it! Wont be online after this. I need to study for Chemistry Exam!! :D Wish me luck :D