Insomnia
Gah! It is frustrating if you can't go to sleep. For me it's double the frustration because my laptop is busted and I have something in my mind thats screwing me up tonight! :(
Lets get it off now.. shall we~
Lets get it off now.. shall we~
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Random thought :
Something from a past event triggered this thought. Why must I be the one to forgive everyone for what they did to me? I mean, some of 'em took my forgiveness for granted. They did something, asked for my forgiveness and did it again?? Where is the end to that? What if I do something wrong to a certain someone. Am I forgiven if I ask for that persons forgiveness? Heck! I even develop something so ridiculous about forgiveness. I even said "sorry" even though it wasn't my fault? Or even when it was suppose to be a suggestion or some sort. That clearly isn't the place to ask forgiveness. I didn't even do anything wrong. So that is why I tried not to say sorry in such circumstances. But, trying to achieve balance on when to ask for forgiveness and when not to is clearly divided into a thin imaginary line. I am the type of person who forgives everyone for anything they did to me. I don't like holding grudge because it sucks the life out of you.
Is leaving someone and walking away the same thing? Think of it in a certain situation. Your friend left you for another person and you're pissed and your friend walk away till you calm down a bit without having to hurt your feelings or whatsoever. Another thin invisible boundary line I might say. I did leave and that was because I was so badly hurt that I couldn't take it any longer. Is that my fault? Because I stayed for so long and being ignored isn't something you can withstand even for a day or two. Imagine a whole year?? So.. I left. But then I got back. I was back even though I was torn apart thinking that the pain was ages ago that you have change. But, something you did prove me wrong. You left just like you did in the past. So I decided to move on and not stay in that state for so long. I can't afford to become someone I was back when you left. I need to live my own life and not bounded to you in any way. A friend will always be a friend. A best friend will always be a best friend. Were and was doesn't play a part in such friendship. Too bad something like this can't be undone. I tried. But, it was never successful :(
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Is leaving someone and walking away the same thing? Think of it in a certain situation. Your friend left you for another person and you're pissed and your friend walk away till you calm down a bit without having to hurt your feelings or whatsoever. Another thin invisible boundary line I might say. I did leave and that was because I was so badly hurt that I couldn't take it any longer. Is that my fault? Because I stayed for so long and being ignored isn't something you can withstand even for a day or two. Imagine a whole year?? So.. I left. But then I got back. I was back even though I was torn apart thinking that the pain was ages ago that you have change. But, something you did prove me wrong. You left just like you did in the past. So I decided to move on and not stay in that state for so long. I can't afford to become someone I was back when you left. I need to live my own life and not bounded to you in any way. A friend will always be a friend. A best friend will always be a best friend. Were and was doesn't play a part in such friendship. Too bad something like this can't be undone. I tried. But, it was never successful :(
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